Rest ~ Recover ~ Resume | Chan Pui Si
[ ‘SHARE’ Nov-Dec 2014 ] CEDAR’S BLOGGER
Written by Chan Pui Si (Director of Field Operations)
I had set aside poverty relief work for a time and it is by God’s grace that I can resume this work. It is highly meaningful as I continue in this ministry and testify to God’s work in various places among different peoples.
In 2009 I returned from Beijing with my two daughters. For twenty years we had lived in China and other places; I devoted myself to nurturing my children and striking a balance between family and work. After coming back, despite Hong Kong being my first ‘home’, I still needed time to adjust to its fast pace, high cost of living and relating to friends and family.
Friends my age are already planning for a carefree retirement and healthy life, but I want to work till I am 80! They were surprised to hear that I am not yet tired of toiling and being busy. I think one does not feel tired doing what one loves.
Poverty relief gives meaning to my life, it shows me that God is not God of the rich only but also God of the poor; He does not exist in a perfect world only but He works even in a place of great need, and He is truly living there. I yearn for others to see God’s work, so I do not feel tired, although sometimes I feel powerless.
For a long time I had launched programmes, raised funds, assessed cases, dealt with people, made plans and trained staff – apparently doing God’s work but they had become jobs that made me feel secure. So in 2008 I decided to stop and reflect, meanwhile spending more time with my growing daughters.
But within a year drastic changes took place: my husband died suddenly, my children and I had various different accidents, my father needed heart surgery, and an anomaly in my liver enzyme levels made me incapable of taking care of my children and they had to stay with my good friend. I could only say to God, “It’s too burdensome!” Then God took us back to Hong Kong to start a new life.
The following years I learned to focus solely on looking after myself and my family. Then I asked God, “Am I still needed in poverty relief?” I considered if I should work in CEDAR Fund, and seeing no hindrance and being welcomed by the staff, I joined in 2012.
Although what was lost cannot be regained, it is precious to me that God still appoints me to poverty relief, so I cherish this opportunity and hope my work is acceptable to Him.